A short message.

Still feeling that weird cold emptiness in my chest. I get angry without a reason. It’s hard to do stuff on my own. I think I’m becoming depressed or something. And I hate feeling like this.

Well, at least I still have dreams.


I’m currently obsessed with Japan. Well not currently, for about 5 years now, or maybe more. I love the culture, the religion, the language, everything! I really wish I could go there but unfortunately, I don’t have any money.

Still, I can dream, watch anime or many, many YouTube video’s about the culture. I’m learning the language the best I can on my own, because learning from a teacher is to expensive and too far away from my home, and my work. I don’t want to give up my dream job just yet. I guess I’ll keep working hard until I have enough money to go to Japan!


If I’ll ever go to Japan, I would visit Kyoto very much! : )

That’s all I wanted to share for now. Figuring out how the dashboard works. I don’t really get WordPress just yet…

Also, if there is anything you know about going to Japan or studying the language, please share it with me : ) I would love to talk about it with other people, and maybe learn things from you! ; )

(Blogging really does cheer me up a bit ^^)

Bye ~


Merry Christmas.

It’s christmas! Here in the Netherlands we celebrate this holiday on two day’s. Today was the first day. To me, christmas is a day of sharing love and happiness to those who are family to you. I enjoy those days that my family is reunited. Though, not every family member is always present. But that’s OK, they probably want to enjoy some quiet times too. Because it can be pretty loud with all of the kids!

As it was today. The kids were very enthusiastic. Some new family members decided to come over and that made me feel warm inside. This year, pretty much the whole family was at my mom’s place. It was lovely! Though, I am very tired thanks to the kids. Can’t wait to have a few of my own. Must be great!

This time it did feel weird. When me and my boyfriend arrived, there weren’t many people. I wanted to come early to help my mother out with some preparations. After that we started with the few gifts my sister and I bought for all of us. Mom didn’t have any money so she must have felt pretty bad about it… But we managed to cheer her up! Especially with the beautiful idea my sister had for her. A new picture instead of the picture she had with dad. She had tears of joy! That almost made me cry too…

The fact that dad wasn’t here with us didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Before we left our little apartment, I asked my dad through Facebook what his plans where. He told me he was going to a theme park, and the next day he would stay at his sister’s place… I felt good about it, knowing he wasn’t spending christmas alone, but I also felt anger… Jealousy.  For he was with another woman. Another family.

Well, I won’t let this ruin my day! It was lovely! The food wasn’t that tasty though, but that doesn’t matter. It’s the thought that counts! Now I can relax with my love, Adolfo, and my dear little kitten Momo and have our own little christmas. Tomorrow we’re going to Adolfo’s mother and family. Should be fun!

Merry Christmas everyone!


About a year ago, I wanted to start a blog. Though, I did not know what to blog about.

So here I am again, trying to think about something, but I guess I just have to start blogging and see where this takes me. I also can’t decide if I blog in English or in my own language, Dutch. I’ll try English first and if I really suck at it, I’ll change LOL.

As I’m typing my very fist post I think about christmas and how it’s going to be like. Because, since a few weeks now, I got some bad news. My parents are going to divorce. I think I’m a bit over the sadness of it all, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about them. And thinking about christmas without dad for that matter.

Well, I have to wrap some gifts I bought for everyone. I did forget to buy a gift for dad… but I don’t know how to give it to him either. 

We’ll see how this is going to end. At least I know what I can blog about; how my christmas went. Hope I won’t forget to post though.